tea and chapstick.

in case you were wondering...tea and chapstick is going to be the name of joel and i's folk band duo...whenever we finally get around to making some music. :) he promises it will be soon though. i am going to learn how to play the ukulele, while he plays guitar and/or harmonica, jimbay, or keys...whatever he is feeling that day i suppose. we will both sing...maybe play some coffee shop shows? perhaps.

mmm...life has been really sweet lately. i feel so blessed to have such a wonderful community of friends and people i love and cherish (that also love me as well i hope :).

i do love hot and humid AR (yes i am totally serious), but there is nothing quite like living by the ocean...

1940's inspired bridal photo shoot with a contemporary twist on saturday. i am calling it "sous les décombres" which is french for "beneath the rubble." (aka: taking an old dated era, bringing it back and making it something beautiful and fresh)

i am very excited to be working with the lovely photographer, Krista Guenin http://www.kristaphoto.com/ to achieve the vision i have in mind! it will be a wonderful day (as long as we don't get rained on).

had a chinese food picnic in a greek festival park today with a dear friend, filled with laughter and joy. her friendship is such a treasure.

hmm...what else...many brides these days. so many lovely ladies going to be walking down the aisle soon.

spring is in the air..

Be at rest once more, O my soul, for the Lord has been good to you. -Psalm 11:7

i read this verse this morning when my head was swarming with all the things i have been anxious about, things i need to get done, things that have been on my heart...what a simple and beautiful verse to remind us to just chill out! we are blessed to even be here! we are children of God...so comforting.

equilibrium.

it's a new year. 2011...you came way too quickly.

my first blog post this year..watch out!

i haven't made any new years resolutions really...because i always find i break them instantly. so i guess you could said i've made a new years resolution to not have any new years resolutions...

however, i have set a few mental goals...

1. read more (just in general)
2. begin learning how to speak french (which was my new years resolution last year..ha!)
3. eat more veggies
4. dance a heck of a lot more
5. finish this the journal i started last month sometime this year
6. visit the ocean more
7. build a website and make business cards
8. love more
9. pray more intentionally and continually
10. make somewhat of a routine in my day to day schedule (i hate routines, but it might be beneficial...we shall see)

i find myself missing my family a lot these days. it would be so great to spend the day thrift shopping with my mom and getting o'charlies. :) i miss her and my sisters so much...and of course my precious nephews and niece.

i need to start planning a trip home to visit...

finding a balance in life is rather hard these days for me. back home..it seemed to be much easier. i feel like it's one extreme or the other for me lately. i need some equilibrium.

these next couple of months are going to be rather life altering...but then again, when is life not altering? i am not guaranteed an outcome, however, the Lord is faithful. this i know to be true.

in other news...there is at least 3 ft of snow outside of my window...and it is growing by the day. i am ready for sunshine and sandy beaches. come back summerrrrr, you are missed in new england.

i had a ridiculous craving for popeyes chicken today that wasn't fulfilled...sadness.

cambiamento.

crying: the process of shedding tears (usually accompanied by sobs or other inarticulate sounds)

Crying is a rather strange thing when you think about it...it's almost uncontrollable. You can cry tears of joy, tears of pain, or tears can fall from your face when you stare at a bright computer screen too long...(which is the kind i am experiencing right now)

In the past few weeks...I have shed all 3 kinds of tears. (for me...that is quite an accomplishment, I don't tend to cry very often) I guess you could say I have been in touch with my emotions these days.

Today I reflected on who I was before I moved to Boston...and just how much God has taught me upon leaving Arkansas and beginning my endeavors in New England. It's kind of overwhelming how God creeps into your life. I was this vulnerable broken girl...who was so stubborn and selfish. I thought I had it all figured out...I was going to move to Boston and kill it! (can you say prideful?) I was going to be this fabulous hair stylist, when in reality, God had another agenda for me...who knew that he could use swing dancing to introduce me to people who led worship for a God-centered church? I sure didn't.

What an impact this church has made on my life...I have NEVER felt more loved by a church (a body of people who love each other and serve Christ). I can honestly say that this church has a genuine heart for the Lord..they truly love God and love people, because He first loved us.

I am tearing up just thinking about how much God has done in my life in the past couple years...it is truly wonderful to think about, and I know this is only the beginning.

It's funny how life changes so unexpectedly. It comes out of no where.

As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field; for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.
Psalm 103:15-16

My life may be short, but I want it spent honoring Him.

Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my anxious thoughts. See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.
Psalm 139:23-24

perspective.

pretty sure Boston in the season of autumn (right now) is the most perfect time of year...if only it didn't fly by so quickly.

i am already cold....it's gonna be a rough winter for me. i can feel it already.

my mom used to read to me Psalm 23 every night before i went to bed growing up...even after i memorized it forwards and backwards haha. still...it never gets old...it's like comfort food. :)

The Lord is my shepherd I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside the still waters, He restores my soul. He guides me in the paths of righteousness for His name sake. Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil for thou art with me. Thy rod and thy staff shall comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of my enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

i feel like i've been around the world and back...

in the past month...i have taken a road trip from Boston, MA to Conway, AR in a vehicle that broke down once in Cleveland, OH...then while i was driving (without a license, or so i thought) the vehicle started jolting back and forth till it hit 40 mph (the minimal speed limit on the interstate)...where i then proceeded to sweat and pray a lot. we made it there finally...after a pit stop in TN and MS for a couple days. (p.s. found my license once i got to Conway) from there...my sister and friend picked me up, then had a 3 hr drive home...spent some time in NWA with the fam, then had a 6 hour flight back to NYC to visit the man for a couple days :), then took a 4 hour bus ride back to Boston...then a 20 min subway ride and a transfer to a 20 min bus ride home. basically i have taken every form of transportation in the past few weeks...minus a few uncommon ones...submarine, hovercraft, teleportation...you get the idea.

it's been awesome to just slow down the past week or so and unwind spending genuine time with God.

He never fails to reveal...and His timing is always perfect.

God will always give what is right to His people who cry to him night and day, and He will not be slow to answer them.
Luke 18:7

this is such a cool verse for many reasons...the Lord is faithful. He knows our every need and He will provide. so many times in my life when i have taken life into my own hands being hasty, i have crashed and burned...but when He is in control, He has my best in mind and He answers every prayer. patience is the key.


"the difference between a calling from God and a good idea is that a calling will stick"

majesty.

So these past few weeks have been rather revealing...and I thought they might be encouraging to others as well. So here goes nothing..

Majesty Majesty
Your beauty ASTOUNDS me
Your faithfulness is unending
Your mercies are new every single day
Thank you.

-excerpt from a journal entry from a couple days ago

He poured water into a bowl and began to wash the followers feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. -John 13:5

It is truly amazing to me how MANY different ways God shows his love for us throughout scripture/my own life. It can even be as simple as a smile from a stranger. God calls us to DESIRE his heart to love others just like he has loved me and you. This means...we love all, serve Him, and there shouldn't be any hesitation whatsoever with this.

A generous man will prosper; he who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.-Proverbs 11:25

something else God has laid on my heart lately...

For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are--yet was without sin. -Hebrews 4:7

God is beautiful and SINLESS. He shared every single trial we have faced when he was a man on earth (take a moment just to digest that). He knows our every thought, our hearts, and far beyond what we can see in this moment.

I am reminded daily of how small and insignificant my life is how how big and marvelous He is. It just blows me away that despite all my sin and faults, he still loves me just as much as he did yesterday, and the day before that.

"Do not think that love, in order to be genuine, has to be extraordinary. What we need to do is love without getting tired." -Mother Theresa

getting older.

birthdays are a strange occurrence. according to one day, you are one number higher than the number you were the day before. also...i never feel older. it's just a day when people are super nice to you and people that you haven't talked to since...who knows when tell you happy birthday...haha.

like for instance...my roommates. they are amazing. last night at exactly midnight...they had pink and white streamers and balloons everyyywhere when i walked in the door. :)

then today they made me waffles for breakfast...then we got pedicures, CHICK FIL AAAAAAA, and shot cakes (cupcakes filled with ice cream. incred.)

lara and suzy: if you are reading this...i love you so much and thank you for making my first birthday in massachusetts so special! i am so blessed to have you in my life!

now i'm in the citttay visiting my one and only :) and he has a whole evening planned for the two of us...can't wait! except the whole surprise factor...bah.

in the past 2 days, i have broken a lampshade, a glass, cut my finger, burnt my knuckle, tripped going up the stairs and face planted it...oh and i fell over on this guy on the subway today.

yep...grace is not my middle name.

i have a feeling these next couple months are going to be insane.

Let the morning bring me word of your unfailing love, for I have put my trust in you. Show me the way I should go, for to you I lift up my soul. -Psalm 143:8

i'm the new chicken clucking open hearts.

^^in case you are wondering about that title, it's lyrics to this song i cannot get out of my head. i love this song. the weepies are fabulous.

again...so much has changed in my life.

Jesus...you never fail to amaze me.

gahhh i am so undeserving of all the many blessings he has put in my life. literally i would never finish this blog post if i were to put in here everything he is doing in my life right now...

I love those who love me, and those who seek me find me. - Proverbs 8:17

Praise be to you, O LORD;
teach me your decrees. -Psalm 119:12

God is exalted in his power.
Who is a teacher like him? -Job 36:22

For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.
-Jeremiah 29:10-12

God has brought me laughter, and everyone who hears about this will laugh with me.
-Genesis 21:6 << i love his sense of humor :)

i really feel so content and fulfilled with God at this place i'm in my life currently. now i just need to give back the love and joy i feel to others.

what does this look like in my life? well...i am still figuring out the fine print. i definitely feel like he is using me in my day to day life, but i have always had a strong desire to work with youth in some form or fashion...maybe because i feel like i'm still a kid myself, and i want to stay this way forever. :]

new hampshire this weekend, new york next weekend...can't wait! ahhhhh

nautical gifts.

childrens museum in boston...phenomenal. i especially enjoyed braiding the balding mannequin's hair in the fake salon...they were probably balding because kids like ripping out hair for some reason. yes. i have experienced this firsthand.

so how can i catch up all my blog followers on my life? ahhh...so much has changed since i last blogged.

change is good though...most of the time anyways.

God is doing a lot in my heart these days. i am ready to be molded however he wants me...i just needed to continue guarding it.

oh yeah...i moved! i now live 20 min. north of the city, which is much closer to my job, church, etc...which is super nice, and i live with 2 pretty awesome gals and the sweetest dogs on the planet. i was sad to say goodbye to my old roomies though. i will definitely miss them. we had some great times on south main street.

i've gotten to go to the beach a lot lately, which has been freaking incredible. if i could be there every day, i would. speaking of...i had the most amazing 4th of july everrr this year. i went kayaking into the ocean with the most beautiful watermelon and marigold sunset and fireworks all around, followed by grilling out, and being serenaded by a guitar on the beach all night long. :]

life is great.

God is great. i love my church. i'm really starting to feel at home here.

tom tom.

GPS....it will be the death of me one day. i just know it.

tom tom and i are not friends. i miss kim...i can't believe i'm saying this. she was my magellan GPS and she was much more reliable...even though i wanted to throw her in a cow patty several times. we had a love-hate relationship.

the other day i somehow remembered that person that got trampled on black friday a couple years ago...what a way to die...death of shopping. geeze.

i've been slacking on this blog thing. in fact...i haven't felt all that motivated lately. maybe it's because the only time i'm ever on the computer is when i'm at my house...which is hardly ever now. and when i'm here, i want to sleep...just like i do now.

and i will sleep...in a sec..

there was a lot i wanted to say and now my mind is drawing a blank. ugh.

tomorrow i'm going to explore more of new england, visiting ME and NH. i am ridiculously excited...yay road trips.

and it's my favorite day of the week...yes...you know what this means. i will be swing dancing my heart out :)

frustration.

so.

for those of you who don't know...i'm just about the most indecisive girl you'll ever meet. decisions are not my forte. in fact...i try to avoid them. like it's so bad that at restaurants that i have to just force myself pick something, unless i've already been there and know what's good.

so i'm listening to jonas brothers right now....and i don't hate it. haha...embarassing.

i feel like i'm at this crazy point in my life where i need to make some decisions fairly soon, otherwise...i'll be at this place of uncertainty forever. and as much fun as that is...ha not worth it.

i just don't know what to do. i love Boston...don't get me wrong. i do. and i have finally found a church in which i feel like i belong to, which i've never felt this way in my life! i've also re-discovered my love for swing dancing, which has been truly wonderful. i cannot tell you how happy it makes me. plus...there's nothing like walking around Boston when the weather is nice, people are out and about, things going on left and right...

the inspiration is endless.

the down side is that i'm not doing what i moved up here to do...which is further excel my career as a hair stylist. obviously the first salon i got a job at was not right for me, so i'm working at a restaurant now...which is fine, it's paying the bills. the benefits are nice too....but it's not a career and not what i will be doing for the rest of my life. that's for sure.

but AR will always be my home...i know that i can always come back to it if i want to. my heart is still there, that's for sure.

i know that if i knew the world was ending tomorrow...the first thing i'd be doing was hitchin a ride back to AR. but what does this mean?? i still want to accomplish so much here...and i feel like i have, but at the same time...i feel as though i need to be 100% committed to making it here..and i'm not anymore. maybe just because i'm afraid to fail? i don't know...ugh.

wow.

this is the first time i've gotten it all out in print. but i definitely need some prayers to further decide my next move.

time to hit the book...

52 blogs. geeze.

i can't believe you people aren't sick of me yet haha..

days off are definitely gifts from God. i am convinced of this.

went swing dancing on friday night! this was the first time i've gotten to go in almost a month now...i've missed it so much. turns out that 70 year old men OWN swing dancing. this little old man named john with thick rimmed black glasses asked me to dance (i'm thinking to myself..."i'll go easy on him"). turns out he showed up everyone on that dance floor!! haha it was amazing.

then the really crazy part was the fact that i saw john the next day running around the middle of the city (mind you...the place we swing danced at was like 20 min outside of the city) and HE RECOGNIZED ME!! this is the first time i've ever had a second encounter with anyone at swing dancing...outside of the dance hall of course. it pretty much made my day...he even remembered my name! lol and all these young people around were of course looking at me like i was a crazy person for knowing this guy.

who cares. it was amazing.

going for a run in the middle of a hot summer day is a terrible idea.

french people are very cool. emphasis on the word cool...they have this kind of slinky presence about them, everything is chill, they have this kind of effortless style...and idunno, they are just interesting people to be around.

i need to be productive today...so off i go.

i love summertime in Boston. :)

peonies.

yes...i have decided white peonies are my new favorite flower. they are absolutely lovely.

so...i walked outside the train station the other day and literally thousands of people were zombified. it was quite a site. i mean we are talking fake blood and all....turns out there was this huge zombie parade thing and somehow i got trapped in the middle of it.

then it started raining.

haha and i didn't even care...it was pure awesomeness.

my face is redder than a stop light...ahh i'm so sunburned. went to this awesome private beach today with some friends from church...it was beautiful. breezy too. and we even played a little lacrosse...and surprisingly, i didn't embarrass myself too badly. soo much fun. the beach soothes me. the smell...the sand between your toes, the seagulls, the kites in the air, kids burying themselves :) i love it all.

so the first couple days being back were hard...i missed home like crazy. i still do...but when i walked into church yesterday, i felt at home again. i love this church.

found this wicked awesome (yep. i said it) diner tonight while i was waiting on my train...it's only right around the corner from the train station, i will definitely be paying more visits there. anyways..i got a free milkshake for smiling at my waiter haha. score.

aaaand my favorite train conductors were working tonight. this was the first time i'd seen them since i've been home...haha they were worried i decided to stay in AR. close...but not quite.

i'm really starting to love it here.

now if the weather were this nice year round...i'd be sold.

oh yeah...my roomie gave me a yak bone bracelet tonight haha. i'm not lying. it's awesome.

22nd phone.

yep...you know what this means. i will be having to get a new phone soon because puddle phone (aka: fakeout phone) is just about dunzo. joy.

for those of you who receive the same text from me 500 times a day...sorry.

i miss my zoolander phone...ahh that thing was the best phone i've ever had.

i'm sick. blech...i've been running fever. my throat feels like it's closing in on me. oh and i get dizzy just walking to the next room ughh...so of course i had to call in sick at work, which i HATE doing.

i haven't eaten anything since yesterday about lunch time...and i'm hungry, but i don't think i can make it down the stairs without face planting it.

it was so good to be home...i've missed it so much.

chicken minis never tasted so good :)

why why why must i continue to be so stubborn?? i blame genetics.

that's all for now...gonna try and get some more rest.

clapping.

well. i couldn't help myself...i missed blogging too much.

it occurred to me this evening at my sister's graduation that clapping is probably one of the strangest things ever. hitting your hands together to make noise to acknowledge people? weird.

also...it makes me feel old seeing my little sister graduate high school. (side note: i don't miss high school one bit) tonight confirmed me of this.

and i really have loved being home so far. i just don't know how good it has been for my heart though because it's going to be ridiculously hard to say goodbye...ugh. and if you know me, you know i'm seriously the worst ever at goodbyes.

what to do. what to do...

my mother is getting married sunday. crazy. 6 new family members this year...a niece, 2 nephews, a step father, a stepbrother, a stepsister...and a partridge in a pear tree. ha :)

"if there was no money, we'd all be rich"

this is so true.

also. i forgot how cheesy charlies angels was until tonight...ha.

all the right moves.

don't judge...i love this song. :)

also...i'm on a plane right now flying into branson...and i cannot contain my excitement!!! ahhh

just a few points to remember though:

the ATL airport gets worse every time i'm there. i don't think i've ever had a good experience at this airport...and i always have connecting flights through there and i always make it onto my flight by the skin of my teeth. really irritating.

there is this presh old lady in front of me who has the cutest smile ever. it made my day. :)

i think this was up there with one of the most hectic weeks of my life...i literally had planned like every single minute of it. pure insanity.

i think i'm finally starting to get a hang of this city thing but it will be good to have a break for a while...

got a new century version of the Bible...can't wait to study it more.

this will probably be my only blog entry till i get home...just a heads up.

i meet my niece today!!! my little sister graduates high school this weekend!! my mom is getting married on sunday!!

haha...i have a feeling this week is gonna be chaos, but that's okay. i'll deal. :)

have a blessed week everyone!!

branson.

the only good part about branson is the chocolate covered strawberries at the brown factory in silver dollar city. i am thoroughly convinced of this.

why am i speaking of branson you ask? well because i am flying into branson from atlanta...and flying to atlanta from boston. ridiculous. (side note: i hate the atlanta airport...that place is way too big. i get lost every time i'm there.)

buuuut i'm so so so so sososososo SO EXCITED to go home and visit :D a trip to my home turf is long overdue.

some celtic players were at the restaurant the other night...i don't really care about basketball, but everyone there was pretty much flippin out.

my newest friends are these like 70 year old train conductor men haha...they let me ride on the train for free anytime they're on my train and gave me $80 worth of free passes! such nice guys :) haha they just sit and tell me funny stories all night long. they make me miss my uncle...whom i will be able to see next weekend!! along with my precious aunt, who i hope will be cooking...because she is the most incredible cook EVER.

tomorrow is my only day off this week. thank you God. i need rest.

sleeping fan.

fans + darkness = great night sleep...which i would love to have right about now.

i have so much crap i need to do...it's not even funny. why why WHY do i let things pile up? and why am i blogging right now?

the answer: i do not have the energy to do all of the things i need to do in a day unfortunately. i wish i was super woman...but i am not. and i am blogging because well...i don't know, i just am.

it's been an extremely off day.

the train never showed when it was supposed to this morning, instead a bus came...and it was a good 30 min late at that, on top of traffic, transferring to a subway...which was also delayed, which meant i was 30 min late for work.

on the bright side...i didn't really care. there are more important things to stress about. but even then...stressing just makes things worse. so i try not to stress. it irritates me when i see people flipping out about train delays and whatnot...you can't change it, so why freak out?

also...i met this really cool family from holland in the midst of the public transportation chaos. i even showed them where the freedom trail was...ha! me giving directions in boston, that's a laugh. it was the first time i've ever been able to give anyone correct directions upon moving here.

10 days 10 days 10 days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"where is the trash receptacle?" -richard

"who even says that?" -me

freedom trail.

story time.

okay..so i work in the financial district, which also happens to be a huge tourist area, considering there are lots of history landmarks all throughout this area. so the restaurant i work at is in the old city hall building, which happens to be right smack dab in the middle of the freedom trail (it's this guided tour to all of the major history landmarks in boston...super cheesy. there is someone dressed like a colonial person from the 1800s who is the tour guide and they all talk really loud and obnoxious). anyways, the restaurant decided to open the patio yesterday and today and i was the lucky chosen hostess who got to work outside. (which basically meant i was a lawn ornament)

what i have experienced upon being a patio hostess:

1. an amish man asking me if the restaurant i worked in was the place where the declaration of independence was signed......how do i answer that with a straight face??

2. a deaf homeless man who pretended to shoot me with an umbrella and walked all throughout the patio area....i was too afraid to tell him to leave. it's not like he could hear me anyways..

3. a kid on the freedom trail tour stopped in front of the restaurant to take a picture and a pigeon crapped on his head.

priceless.

i am in need of a new bible. oswald is great but only for so long...

13 dayssss till i get to eat some chicken minis and REAL sweet tea!!

ahhhhh...i may start packing tonight. and i hate packing. that's how excited i am :)