corn starch and baby powder.

so...

i have a lot on my mind these days. and usually i try to keep this blog pretty vague...but i'm breaking that rule as of now.

beware...i'm going to vent.

i want to know God in such a way that i CRAVE his presence in my life every moment of every day. i want to want to wake up earlier, just so i can spend more time with him. i want to be able to fast like the apostles did. i want him to be proud to call me his daughter.

sometimes i wonder if i would appreciate God more if i had less.

also. i'm slightly homesick. i want so desperately to hold my niece...to hug my family, to kiss my cat sophie (which i have discovered is the only cat on the planet i like), to visit my family on the farm, go on a thousand sunset horseback rides, eat my aunts cooking (the best food on the planet), watch a ton of baseball games (of course with sunflower seeds and sweet tea), cut my uncle's hair and hear the same stories over and over again :), get lost in the woods somewhere, go to the lake and get sunburned, drink endless susie q milkshakes...mmmm...oh and hang out with my friends? yeah i miss you guys too. a lot.

then i remember what a ridiculously cool opportunity i have here....and how God is working in my life

and how i know i can make it here, if it continues to be God's will that i stay here.

also. i have discovered i'm incapable of sewing a straight line today...ugh.

oh....and i found out baby powder and corn starch is the answer to making a woman's hair grey really fast. score.

edit///:

had an AMAZING rehearsal tonight. i was in the middle of putting a wig cap on one actress with bobby pins in my mouth, while kicking shoes to another actor backstage....when it hit me how much i LOVED what i was doing. i love the chaos of being backstage, people counting on me to make them look a certain way, seeing my work on stage, and loving every second of it!!